tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post8588731856290275497..comments2023-11-30T04:43:54.844-05:00Comments on A Muddled Mother: Solitary ConfinementAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00067535681616087770noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-63348492751070837482011-03-03T18:40:28.380-05:002011-03-03T18:40:28.380-05:00Oh my! I can remember being over curfew and my par...Oh my! I can remember being over curfew and my parents coming to get me at a house. :) We all have our challenging times as parents, maybe it is what makes our lives to interesting?? Chances are you would of been asleep instead of dealing with all this right? Yes sleep in nice but now you have something to blog about. Trying to keep with the positive here. :) My love and strength is sent out to you!<br />much love<br />april<br />www.beliefinus.wordpress.com<br />www.changingourminds.weebly.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-63981915985420187762011-01-30T16:12:05.702-05:002011-01-30T16:12:05.702-05:00Ok, I'm going to try to be a voice of reason h...Ok, I'm going to try to be a voice of reason here because I have been where you are and I am sooooo far from the perfect mom, but I'll tell you what helps me: <br />1. Remember that if your kids aren't acting the way you want, you can change that. You are the parent AND you teach people how to treat you. You know what we do when little ones use their mouths inappropriately? They get a teaspoon of hot sauce. They've each had it a few times and now they don't sass nearly as much, I just threaten the hot sauce. :) lol <br />My point is, I would have jumped to nip that behavior in the bud. I would have said to my husband: go upstairs and take care of the baby please. I would have then headed after Gannon and told him that taunting his brother is unacceptable and punished him. Period. I know teenagers are hard, but consistent work at the time of the problem should help. A family meeting might be in order. <br />I then would have told Aidan to come upstairs and apologize to his stepfather and little sister. I would have meted out his punishment right there (for example, if he can't come home at curfew, he doesn't go out and if he can't answer his phone, you can take it from him for a while---he's not using it anyway!). <br />2. You are a mother but you are still a woman. You are still your own person. I had an epiphany while scrubbing toilets one day and said to myself, "Is this it then? I'm just destined to clean up after everyone for the rest of my life?" I decided then and there I was going to spend less time cleaning and more time doing what I wanted. You will not be on your death bed moaning about how you wish you had spent more time cleaning! You need something(s) for yourself! Read, cook, garden, whatever your old hobbies are, dust them off girlfriend! Make a regular girls' date, monthly, weekly, whatever you need to go meet and have coffee. I don't know about you, but my husband pretty much does what he wants! lol He doesn't hesitate to plop down and play video games for a while or to run out and get some coffee or cigarettes----with no thought to bundling up the kids and taking them along! lol You need to adapt more of that kind of attitude! :) Delegate more, make yourself more of a priority. Think of this: your kids mimic you. If you are a workaholic, they will be workaholics (and you'll be worrying about their stress levels!). If you do everything and they (and your hubby) don't help, they will expect the woman in their life to do the same! <br />3. The next time you're that angry, sit down and write. Just grab some looseleaf and a pen and write until you feel drained. Get it out. Holding anger in is poison, I can tell you!<br />I've really had to learn the hard way to make changes in my life. My eldest son is 6 and he is a huge challenge! And my middle son is 4 and starting to be very stubborn and nasty to us and my 13 month old daughter is starting to buck naps and scream, morning, noon and night! But those problems aren't my sole focus. When my kids are acting out, I try to get proactive---I promise you, it will make you feel so much better to attempt to chuck those stones off your chest rather than sitting there waiting for the next one! :) Nobody's perfect, no life is perfect, but you can make it perfect for you! ;) <br />If all else fails, see a therapist---a FEMALE therapist, who can commiserate w/you and validate you! :) Your one commentor was right: we women are the heart and souls of our families. And I bucked against that and it isn't fair but then I thought of this: if I'M not happy, nobody is. It's ok to be a little selfish! I let my family know, in a joking way when things are getting out of hand and I'm tense, I tell them, "Hey, do as I tell ya! Remember, if I'm not happy, nobody is!" lol ;) <br />good luck!!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15622924874696347640noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-16900826693018311762010-07-29T23:06:49.676-04:002010-07-29T23:06:49.676-04:00VERY well written, Logan. I LOVE what Suz said......VERY well written, Logan. I LOVE what Suz said............I want to meet her too!!!!<br />I know oh so well what you are going through! I used to fantasize about being extremely sick in a hospital bed & my son changing forever just to have me live!!! I was even willing to die if it would make him a better person! Living that way was no way to live anyway!........but I'm here to tell you that it does get better, especially the sibling rivalry.....as they get older & mostly when they don't live in the same household, which will be here much sooner than you think! Some of what Lanni says is true.........some of it is normal. You and I are sensitive souls & the constant beatings get to be too much sometimes, but hang in there, my friend. Your time will come.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-64549560856486995112010-07-27T09:50:53.794-04:002010-07-27T09:50:53.794-04:00@La....Damn! You get me every time! Nice way to ...@La....Damn! You get me every time! Nice way to wake up though...sing it with me..."You've got to ACCENTUATE the positive...ELIMINATE the negative...."Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00067535681616087770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-64901387143796085642010-07-27T08:07:08.825-04:002010-07-27T08:07:08.825-04:00Okay, I know that I happen to be one of those 20 &...Okay, I know that I happen to be one of those 20 "friends" without children..so who am I to say a darn thing. But I had a few typical "Lanni" thoughts while reading your blog this morning.<br />1) Aidan went to a party! And Aidan came home late and broke curfew like so many boys his age. YEAH! I mean we shouldn't be applauding that, no...but deep inside you have to be cheering right?<br />2) Gannan taunts Aidan, but at least the two actually talk to one another and don't walk around ignoring one another...fighting among siblings is NORMAL. You have two NORMAL teenage boys... I do remember two of my older sisters fighting like cats and dogs...hee hee...(remember the time someone locked someone else out of the house... something about the telephone if I recall).<br />3) Ila loves her daddy... and would prefer him over you. Would you have this any other way? Think about that for a second. Imagine what life might be like if it were the reverse. <br />4) And finally, you are up in the middle of the night standing in the light of the kitchen...but there is SILENCE isn't there? YES! <br />LOVE YOU LOGAN!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-59942859125123294042010-07-25T22:04:00.952-04:002010-07-25T22:04:00.952-04:00@ Suz...Is there an equivalent to Bro-mance...beca...@ Suz...Is there an equivalent to Bro-mance...because if there is..I am having one with you, a sympatico woman whom I haven't even had the great pleasure of meeting face to face yet. <br /><br />@all...thanks for the support. I especially appreciate anon who suggested that we run away until our children are 25...just last night I was "night dreaming" how different my life would be if I walked away say to a flat in Soho and became a mysterious recluse. Want to come with me?Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00067535681616087770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-66929981633987554092010-07-25T21:58:43.720-04:002010-07-25T21:58:43.720-04:00awesomely written, Logan
Mine are 18 and 21 and ...awesomely written, Logan<br /> <br />Mine are 18 and 21 and they are still giving me that sinking, why the hell do I even bother feeling, too<br />Lets all run away from our children till they are 25 or 30 and behaving like decent, grateful humans...really...I am not being sarcastic here....I mean, I can understand why some women just walk away...really they just get pushed away for the last time and then don't look back<br />Kids shouldn't be the only ones who get to run away...wives and mothers are given ample reasons to flee<br />It is a career path a young woman would be wise to consider very deeply before she starts making whoopy with anybody.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-51289496496306673752010-07-25T21:54:05.370-04:002010-07-25T21:54:05.370-04:00here's the thing my sweet friend whom i can...here's the thing my sweet friend whom i can't wait to meet someday.... as mom's/wives/sisters/daughters/females... we are the anchor and rock of the family. now don't get me wrong- i don't remember the fine print when i signed on to be all of those titles above, and frankly i think that lil piece of information is kept from us on purpose like the actual pain of childbirth or why short mom hair is a bad idea for most of us. and while it may not seem fair, and there are days that our shoulders aren't wide enough, our strength not strong enough, our wisdom not smart enough-- it doesn't matter because our families are still counting on us. this is why sisterhood is so important. we need to find one another and help carry each other's burdens from time to time.... because we've all been there. you are not alone. breathe. lean on us. and regroup because sooner or later we're gonna need to lean right back! from the light of my fridge to yours.... sending love and prayers and reminders to keep breathing!.suz.https://www.blogger.com/profile/05636492825093282086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-65347509442939928182010-07-25T21:14:28.791-04:002010-07-25T21:14:28.791-04:00Oh, my! I love your honesty. I had a week similar ...Oh, my! I love your honesty. I had a week similar to yours except the problems I am overwhelmed by relate to my four younger sisters and not my own children. I know that even though my friends are all out there in cyberspace, I too long for some one-on-one REAL time with my friends away from the pressures of home, work, and my family. I am sure it is partially the control freak in me, but I wish I could not take the weight of the world upon my shoulders because those "stones" sometimes feel suffocating. Sounds like you need some girl time away from things. Working from home must be especially hard because when do you ever get away from it all? I so enjoy reading your work-both this blog and your column. Keep your chin up!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6998642513449094998.post-36151703982070609632010-07-25T21:03:30.409-04:002010-07-25T21:03:30.409-04:00I would tell Aiden if he hates being embarrassed i...I would tell Aiden if he hates being embarrassed in front of friends play by the rules and he won't have to be embarrassed...all he had to do is call home ....saves alot of anxiety on everyones part...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com